Bullying is rife throughout all walks of life. Bullying in the workplace is very, very common. We worry about bullying in schools but it also exists in the family and I suspect that the vast majority of people in this country have been bullied at some stage in their lives.

What is interesting is that some people are able to shrug it off while others are deeply affected and their whole lives become a misery.

Bullying is not going to stop nor will legislation against it have much effect, so perhaps each of us as individuals would benefit from developing our own skills and strategies to cope with those difficult times.

Ideally parents nurture their children and help them to develop skills as they grow up although sadly this too often this just does not happen so we lurch into adulthood bruised and battered without those valuable skills.

However all is not lost, we can still take control, choose to no longer be the victim and become the architects of our own destiny.

If you were to choose to climb a mountain, there would be parts of that climb that would seem impossible to negotiate. You could give up at that stage defeated by the obstacles in your path or you could look up to where you want to go, what you want to achieve and with that goal firmly in your mind, find a way to negotiate that obstacle. You may not know how to do it but bit by bit you make progress by keeping your ultimate goal firmly in your sights at all times.

(It should also be said that when you look up at the top of the mountain that you also ask yourself “Is this what I really want to do?” The answer may come back as a resounding “No” and so this is the perfect time to stop and reconsider your options and find a new direction rather than wasting energy on something you really don’t want to do anyway.)

The progress might be slow and difficult but gradually you succeed passed that particular difficulty to an easier stretch. Now there may be several difficult stretches to get through before you reach the top of the mountain but with each stage that you succeed, you gain knowledge and confidence.

Once you reach the top of the mountain and look back at each of the stages that seemed so insurmountable at the time, you realise that what was a problem is no longer a problem.

Along the way you have learned to deal with many problems all of which if you were to come across similar problems again you would know how to deal with them and with greater ease.

Now bullying is a bit like the apparently impassable obstruction on the mountain and the bully may be trying to stop you from achieving your goal.

Stay focussed on your goal, just like the top of the mountain and know that although you don’t know how you will achieve it, you will certainly get there.

By concentrating on the end result you will focus less on the problem and by focussing less on the problem the less energy and value you give it. A problem can only be a problem when you give it energy and hence a value.

What are your values?

Values are the things that are important in your life such as:

• career
• family
• religion
• honesty
• health
• relationships
• love
• knowledge
• well-being
• money
• spirituality
• compassion
• etc…..

or whatever else is important to you.

Your values, whatever they are, have an energy, it makes sense therefore to give value to those things that you really want and are positive and make you happy rather than any negative issues you may find around you at any given time.

It is entirely up to you where you want to focus your intention

On positive values and goals

Or

The negative attitudes and behaviour of others.

Do you really want to be in control of your life and destiny or the victim at the mercy of another’s whim?

Learn to develop strategies and coping skills, take control of your life and be the master of your destiny.